The gift of I don't know.

The closer I get to God, the less I seem to understand.

That feels backwards. Nothing about the rest of my life works that way. The more time I spend reading about marketing, the more I know about marketing. The more time I spend with my wife, the better I know my wife. The more time I spend practicing beekeeping, the less times I get stung.

I used to get really frustrated by that idea. I thought that the more I knew God, the more I would know in general. I guess I wanted to unravel his mysteries or probe the depths of his abyss. Both those sentences kind of felt like something from the Left Behind book series, but you know what I mean.

I got so mad at that dynamic until I read some verses that all but promise I won’t be able to grasp God. There are a number that do, but my favorite is Philippians 4:6-7. Here is what it says:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

If you’re a worrier like me, then you’ve muttered this comforting verse many a cold sweaty night, but I don’t want to miss the last sentence. In it, we are assured the peace of God, “which transcends all understanding.”

We are promised that we will not be able to understand the peace of God. No matter how long we walk with him or how often we read his word or where we go to college or how many verses we memorize, his peace will transcend our ability to comprehend it.

That’s a comforting thought for me. In a lot of ways it releases me from trying to figure his peace out. Instead of trying to figure it out, I get to experience it. Instead of dissecting it, I get to drink it in.

And that’s a pretty peaceful idea.