Your purpose is your poison.

If you search for “Self Help” on Amazon.com, you get 148,828 different books. Help and the concept of developing self is a hot topic and I guess in some ways, I write about it in some of my posts. One of the most popular topics under the self help umbrella is how to find your purpose. Tricks and tips to find out who you are and what you should be doing with your life.

I think that’s fine. I think there are a lot of good books that probably expound on that topic. But maybe you don’t have time to read long, detailed descriptions of life plans. Maybe instead of trying to remember a seven step process you just want one, very easy way to uncover what you were made to do. That’s what I’ve got.

It’s like I boiled down 400 self help books into a few paragraphs. Gone are the analogies and the similes and the metaphors. All that remains is one simple idea and this is it:

Your purpose is often your poison.

That sounds a little silly, but I think it’s true. I believe that the thing you are meant to do, the thing you could be greatest at is also the thing you can be horrible at. The gift you have is also a weapon depending on how you use it.

For me, that means I can either share love with my writing or hurt feelings. I can be kind with my words or cruel. I can spread love or hate. I felt that way about the past, about the times I used my writing to hit on girls online. Instead of writing my blog, years ago my words were about manipulating people.

That’s not to say I’m a great writer, just that the thing I am best at is also the thing I am worst at. And I think there’s a reason that may make me sound like a Jesus freak because it’s about the devil. The devil has such good PR, that at this point I feel a little weird even mentioning him, as if I shouldn’t. I fear bringing him into the conversation makes me sound silly or over spiritual or weird.

Anyway, I don’t believe the devil tempts us in areas of our life that are inconsequential. If you’re not a great public speaker, the devil doesn’t try to use that weakness to lie to people. If you’re not a great prayer warrior, chances are he won’t give you stage fright before you try to pray in public. He would much rather attack the areas of your life that are going to do the most good for the kingdom. He loves to corrupt our greatest gift because that is where he can do the most damage.

Look at the life of Paul. He was a brilliant, passionate warrior against Christ. All his gifts were corrupted until God grabbed him. And then, everything he was great at was used to God’s greatest purposes. It wasn’t that he got new gifts, he was just able to use his gross, old gifts, in beautiful new ways.

So my question for you today is pretty simple. What is your biggest struggle? What is your biggest temptation? And have you ever stopped to see if there was a gift hidden behind all of the junk that you could be using for good instead?